I recently wrote a blog post about how difficult I find it, dealing with homesickness (which you can read HERE). Living on the opposite side of the world to your entire family is not only hard, it’s just kind of weird! Although I wrote that blog post, because I think it’s important, to be honest about your feelings, it is also valuable to try and stay positive. So, in this light, I thought I would write this new post with a few tricks and tips for keeping in touch with home (Your old home at least!)
I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a superstar at keeping in touch, and I can go weeks and weeks without speaking to family and as for friends, its embarassing. But for me, the greatest friends are those where lack of talking, doesn’t matter. We might not talk for months but when we meet up, things are totally the same. These friends are like family anyway.
Thankfully, despite my uselessness, keeping in touch is now so much easier than it used to be. Imagine in the old days when everything was snail mail, it would have been so difficult! Luckily technology is on our side.
So, after being away for two years, I have found a few tricks that help with the whole keeping in touch with home when living overseas thing, and they are as follows:
Tips for keeping in touch with home when living overseas:
1. Get a good smartphone.
This is essential. In order to make the most of all the amazing technology there is now for keeping in touch, you will need a good smartphone. You need one that can have all the apps and video functions and you need to be able to have this in your pocket. This is essential for good and real-time connections with home.
2. Don’t put pressure on yourself/ Don’t take it too seriously
This is really important. If you put loads of pressure on yourself to talk all the time or for long periods of time, it’s much more likely you won’t achieve it. It’s the same as a diet, make it a chore and its unlikely to happen. Be flexible and light-hearted about this process and ask your family/friends to be the same and it’s much more likely to be positive.
3. Let them know you are always there
Having said keep it flexible, it’s important to let the family know that you are always at the end of the phone and that you haven’t disappeared. That you are always available if they need you. This keeps the closeness and reliability there.
4. Get WhatsApp
Skype is helpful, but WhatsApp is the number one app for keeping in touch with people in my opinion. It’s so easy and almost everyone I know has it. I’m sure you know about it already but with this app, you can send quick and easy short and sharp texts to people and you can also call for free over the internet and set up groups with multiple members.
5. Set up groups
This is also one of the number one things that helps me to keep in touch with more people at home. The WhatsApp group option means that I can text different groups of people all at once making less work and more contact! It also means that we are still having a conversation altogether and you can feel part of things despite being super far away!
6. FaceTime
This is another great one – FaceTime means that you can get an easy glimpse of your loved ones and see them as well as hear their voice. I’m not even embarrassed to walk down the street chatting on FaceTime anymore! (see photo below-hah!) Is Facetime just on Apple? I’m not sure but I think the other forms of smartphone must have something similar too?
7. Pick a time that works for a chat
This is one that you will have to work out somehow, depending on who you want to talk to and what the time difference is with your home. As NZ and the UK are about 12 hours apart, I have found that best time to chat is during my walk to work when it’s the evening in the UK. This gives me a solid 30 min chat, with headphones in and it doesn’t take any time out of my day.
Sometimes when you feel like you have to sit down and stop what you are doing it is less likely to happen. I also sometimes put my headphones in, and my phone in my dressing gown pocket while I am doing things around the house in the morning – a great image I know!
8. Speak little and often
Related to the previous point, I find speaking for short times and often is a much more sure-fire way of making it happen. Speaking for 30 min twice a week is much more realistic than speaking for long periods. Everyone is different, but this works for me.
9. Write REAL letters and send things home
This is something I would definitely like to do more of. Despite all the amazing technology and apps, we have at our disposal (thankfully), sometimes it is more beautiful and special to keep things simple and send a snail mail or a parcel. I love receiving bundles from my mum and it keeps things tactile and real.
10. Plan trips home, or have them on the horizon
Travelling from NZ to the UK is time-consuming and costly but I have found it abundantly helpful to just go home often and when you can. Waiting 3 years before a visit home is not for me. I need to have trips planned home often so I know I am not missing everything and there is a time to see everyone. Of course, this is not realistic for everyone, as you may have kids or financial or work constraints but even just talking with your family about when you’d like to come home, or planning it far in the future can help to have a light at the end of a tunnel
11. Meet up in the middle.
Is flying home too expensive or do you only have a spare week? What about meeting up in the middle. My mum and I have found great joy in this. We met up in Sri Lanka a few years ago and this year we met up in Borneo. This way we both fly and it cuts the flight time in half and it also means we get to do something epic and different together that we might not do if we lived in the same place. Of course, it helps that my mum is super adventurous but this is something you could make work too.
12. Send photos and videos of random things
Keeping people updated with photos and videos of things also helps. Send a video of where you are or even just you at home so people can get more of a sense of your life, rather than it all being unknown. This can be quite enlightening sometimes.
13. Share your emotions/ Be real
Don’t be afraid to express how you are feeling. If you are feeling rubbish and homesick, or sad or lonely, tell people at home. Don’t just pretend everything is perfect and you are happy all the time, this will put a strain on your connection. You want to know that your connection is still real and honest. Also usually your friends and family at home will find a way to make you feel better.
14. Tell them you love them
This is really important. Make sure everyone knows you love them! And say it often. Don’t let them ever doubt it because no matter where you are in the world, it is really important that you keep your love for your family and friends STRONG and present. Saying it helps this 🙂
That’s all I’ve got for now friends. If you have a special way of keeping in touch with home or a way that you lessen the blow of rarely seeing your family, I would love to know this too, so please comment in the section below.
This song by NZ artist Holly Arrowsmith is so beautiful and says it all for me. Also the images are amazing.
I hope you have found something here useful. Thanks for reading and come back soon.
I have lots more articles about the living abroad in NZ life, you might like to check out:
How to survive long-haul flights
9 Essential Tasks for Moving to NZ
16 Suprising things about life in New Zealand
And all my other Moving to NZ Posts HERE.
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Peace,
Josie x
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